Always wear pants
Yesterday afternoon I had decided to scrub out our bathtub from head to toe. This in turn made me want to take a long relaxing shower/bath in our newly clean tub in the later afternoon time. I was just finishing up drying my hair and putting my t-shirt on when Jake comes home from work. He told me he was having to go help Harold (an older man who Jake works with who has tremors, dips 24/7, and cusses like a sailor) change his tires in his old truck. I was like ok and was going to go finish dressing. About 2 min. after Jake closes the door, he runs back upstairs asking me where a wire hanger is, "I don't know," I said to him. He finds one (suprisingly fast and I don't know where he pulled that thing out from) and I ask him if he locked the keys in the truck knowing we had another pair in my purse. He mumbles something about our neighbors. I have yet to meet these people. I said, "Oh, they locked their keys in their car?" Jake says, "No, they locked the baby in the house!"
Well, you know that's probley not the best thing to do. So he runs back downstairs to attempt to pry open their garage with a wire hanger. Yes, it makes just as much sense today and it did yesterday. I carefully walk to the front room windows making sure if anyone outside would only see my top half of my body. There are police man all in her front yard and 2 cop cars in front of our house.
By this time I look off and a man is walking up to the house. Jake runs back upstairs to climb through our frontroom window to get on top of the roof to try to open the neighbors window. 2 months ago, we had people come put in Security locks on our windows so people like Jake would not be able to pry the window open. I told everyone this (from the security of behind my brown curtain) about 3 times before Jake says, "Wait, they just put safety locks on these windows....-rolling my eyes-. At this time, the strange man who I will refer to as Dwight because he exactly like Dwight from The Office runs up to the mom. She says, "Oh, go through our neighbors upstairs room and climb through their window and onto the back of the roof to get to our bedroom window!" The door is still open where Jake leaves it and Dwight yells up at me asking if he could come up while already running to the door. I was put on the spot. I knew there was a baby in that house what could I say? "YEAH COME ON UP".
Oh wait. I'm standing in my underwear in the front room while Dwight runs through our open door. I ran as fast as my short hobbit legs would take me up two flights of stairs and into my room thinking I would be safe. Uh no. Dwight decides to take 3 stairs at a time. I knew what he must have seen running up the stairs after me and it was SO EMBARRASING. I immediatly find safety in my closet while Dwight decides to move our nightstand and say something like, "I'm going to have to take off the blinds, curtains, rods, and move your 1000 lb bed. I'm still locked in the closet. I grab some shorts. I bravely walk out and look at him. He has sweat pouring off his face because HE WAS ON A MISSION. All I could think of was that this strange man saw my white behind covered with the most beautiful pair of white underwear (not) running ridicuously up stairs away from him. I said, "um, its locked. there are safety locks on those windows." He still pushes the bed away like it would move. Jake appears out of no where and says the same thing I said so this makes Dwight even more angry and a choice word came out while he fled back downstairs never to be seen by me again. I hope. By this time the fire truck shows up along with every child on the street.
I am still mortified.
The fireman saved the day and rescued the locked in baby.
I am just going to tell you it took a couple of hours for my heart rate to return to normal.
So remember to always put pants on after every shower because you never know when Dwight will decide to rush into your bedroom!
